Humor, Memoir

The Journey of a thousand miles starts with 10,000 steps a day…apparently (updated)

So I’m doing the 10,000 steps a day thing.  I have resisted it for a while. I think I was doing it for a while a few years ago but I would get frustrated with the pedometer on my phone and I figured with a gym memebership, I could find other ways to work out. I think I’m going to try to do it in addition to my other workouts, though. We are going on vacation soon and I’d like to lose some weight.

One of the reasons I decided to start counting my steps again is because my insurance company sent me a pedometer in the mail. I’ve only used it one day and I already know it is just as unreliable as my phone. I ended up just walking endless laps around the gym last night to get the steps in. I was determined to make it say 10,000 no matter how many steps I actually had to take to get it there.  It was probably more like 15,000. I’m going to need to buy a Fitbit or something.

It seems like this blue cross blue shield pedometer only works when it’s in my left hip. Is that a thing? In the morning I tried wearing it on my bra strap and when I checked it around lunchtime, it said I’d only walked about 45 steps. So that’s not true. I take more steps than that before I leave my house while I’m running in circles trying to get my life together.

At the gym I started it on my right hip and it was working but I truly don’t think it was counting all the steps. So I moved it to the front of my waistband thinking maybe it being on one side was making it only count one leg but the middle was pretty much the same. When I moved it to my left side, all of a sudden I was accumulating steps much faster. That’s where it is right now and it says I’ve done 2,064 steps which is a lot better than the 45 it was this time yesterday. Still, I don’t trust it. However, maybe it’s incompetence will work to my advantage because it will force me to walk even more.

I feel like I’m meant to use this fucking thing because i keep finding it. Three times it has fallen off of my body and I’ve found it in places I would never look. Last night after the gym I dropped it in the target parking lot and then found it on the way back to my car, unharmed, in the middle of the road. Which sucks because I walked around target a lot. 

Whatever. I guess it’s worth a try. Literally everyone else in earth is doing it. So why not me? I’ve seen it work for three people very well. My boss is always telling me that walking is the answer. She has friends that have  lost tens of pounds just by walking alone.

So here we go. My birthday was two days ago and I’ve made a pact with myself to hit 10,000 steps each day this year. (With the exception of my birthday because it’s my fucking birthday and I don’t have to do anything.) So I’m only on day two. So whoopty doo!

Who wants to take bets whether or not I’ll make it through the weekend without fucking it up?

Really? Wow! That’s mean.

Update: and accurate.

On what was only my second day with my new pedometer, I have come to the conclusion that it just doesn’t work. I kept in on my left hand jeans pocket and it seemed to be more or less counting my steps throughout the day. It’s hard to know if it was completely accurate because that would require me counting along in my head with every step I take, but it did seem like it was recording a reasonable amount of steps.

Later in the evening when I had about 1/3 of my steps left to take and not feeling like going to the gym, I began to walk around and around in my basement. After about an hour of this I checked my pedometer to discover that it had recorded approximately 400 steps. In an hour. I just don’t think that’s correct. I was expecting to be done. Now, sure, maybe I could have readjusted it somehow. Maybe I could have walked a little heavier. Maybe I should have been checking it more often but instead I just gave up because even if I could have figured out what was wrong and I could have walked another hour and got my steps in, I had lost faith in my pedometer and it is obviously not reliable. Which is weird, since I did get it for free in the mail unexpectedly and that is usually the mark of quality.

So long story short, I didn’t even make it two days. I do feel like I would have if my equipment was working properly and I’m disappointed. I was excited to start counting my steps. So excited I wrote a blog post about it. I’m just going to have to buy an actual fit bit but I’m not made of money and I have other things to buy this week so, maybe next week?

i know I could download an app or something. I had pacer on my phone for years but then they added that iPhone health app that counts your steps and that’s just never been right and it and pacer always disagreed and even though it seems like i already do, I don’t actually carry my phone with me everywhere and I’m not likely to do that any time soon.

So im going to get a wrist one, that also checks my pulse and I’m going to get a good one. I’m going to research and check reviews. Probably not this week but maybe the week after or the week after that, I will buy a fit bit and I will try again. It’s going to bother me because it will be on my wrist and everyone will know that I’m counting my steps and we will probably have to have conversations about it but I guess that’s the way it has to be.

I much prefer to just keep my fitness journey between myself and you, the readers of my blog because you don’t exsist.

Fuck.

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