Humor

Even Fake Bitches get the Blues

I have a headache. 


I’m not hungover but I did wake up with a headache and I ain’t in the mood. 

Normally I try to be nice and polite and friendly to everybody because that makes the day go smoother. In order for me to be these things, I have to be the fakest bitch on two legs. 


I don’t mean to be fake. I just have what you may call a prickly personality. I’m an acquired taste. The people who get my sense of humor and my “quirky” skew on life seem to like me. I think. Either way, people like that are few and far between. You can’t really spot them by looking because they are usually being fake too. Sometimes, in this world, you just have to be phony. Saves time. 

I would much rather be myself but then no one would like me. As it is no one knows me they just know this nervous person who smiles and acts awkward and dresses weird sometimes. I give the appearance of a person without much depth. Dumb, if you will. Then I get mad because people think I’m dumb. But I make sure they don’t know I’m mad. Cause I’m a fake. So I just act dumber. 


Dumb is better than mean though, to most people. Not me. I’ll take a clever asshole any day. I’ve got a lot of anger inside of me. I try to express it in one-liners and sarcasm. Occasionally it comes out in pure temper tantrums of rage and indignation. Not usually, but occasionally. I try to be nice. 

Sometimes I think to myself, “Wow! I really sound like I’m interested in what this person is talking about.” Then I feel proud, like a real confidence man. I’ve gotten pretty good at it. Not today, though. Today I have a headache. 


I’m saying don’t fuck with me. 

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