How many goddamned Apple updates do I have to sit through before we can fix the assumption that I meant ducking? I know that’s probably a pretty hack thing to say. I’m sure I’m not the only one to remark upon this iPhone insolence. Seriously, why would me and my friends be talking about ducks so much, Siri? What the fuck do you think is going on? I don’t understand.
- They’ve heard the word fuck.
- They’ve said the word fuck.
- They shouldn’t even have iPhones. In my day if you wanted to escape from reality, you had to take drugs.
- They have tiny, nimble, little fingers and sharp eyes. They are far more likely to spell the word they intended to spell correctly than I am of getting every single letter of a four letter word right.
Wake up, Apple! The children know the score. They’ve been streaming for years. Just trust me on this.
Bitch, you don’t know me. I meant “plan”. I didn’t mean “okay”. I could have sent that without checking. Then I would have to have another weird conversation with my boss.
But I can never turn it off. The alternative is so much worse. I need it in order to make sense and even then, it’s a maybe at best.