It’s only a Paper Moon

If there is one expression I really can’t stand, it’s when people say, “I love you to the moon and back.” I apologize if that’s something that you say to your loved ones. I don’t mean to offend. It just bothers me. “Cry me a river” is another expression I can’t stand and I hated that Justin Timberlake song that says it over and over again. Great. Now that song is stuck in my head. Just great. 

I don’t know why but certain expressions just bother me. They actually bother me. It’s like when you have a tag on your shirt and it keeps poking you in the neck. Or if your hands are full but something, somewhere is making noise as you walk (probably your keys) but you can’t do anything about it because you have stuff in your hands but it just keeps making the noise and you feel like you’re going insane. That’s how the expression, “I love you to the moon and back” makes me feel.

I don’t know why. It just does. Every time I hear it, I think to myself, “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.” And it is. 

It just seems to me that If you’re going to involve the whole galaxy then the moon is a pretty short distance. You know what I’m saying? I would be like, “Thats all that you love me? To the fucking moon and back? You can’t even love me to the Sun, one way trip? You don’t love me all the way to Mars? Do I even mean anything to you?”

Where did that expression even come from? I never heard it before and now it’s something people say all the time. Is this some Harry Potter bullshit? Cause I decided not to pay any attention to those movies and it has really left me out-of-the-know  way too often. Which is another thing that makes me sad for the fate of the world. 

(It makes me sad to the gas station and back, if you were wondering how sad it made me.)

Also people think they are so cute when they say that. The way a child can be cute. Guess what, everyone? It’s cute when kids say dumb shit because they are supposed to be dumb. There is a good chance that they will eventually get smarter. As an adult, you should quit intentionally saying dumb things. It isn’t cute. You’re not cute. Shit like that is why you got passed up for that promotion last year. Apparently your boss doesn’t “love to the moon and back,” people who talk like children but are not, in fact, children. 

Thats all. I’m cranky today. I probably need some chocolate or something. Sorry. 


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13 thoughts on “It’s only a Paper Moon”

  1. My most hated expression is “it’s a shame for people,” as in “Did you hear about what Alex’s father did? It’s a shame for people.” What people is it a shame for? People who know Alex? Alex’s dad? Alex’s mom? Who? I want to know who it’s a shame for — and why. Otherwise, don’t use that expression.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. My mother used to say, “I’m having a friend over for coffee and.” That’s it. The implied yet non-existent ending to that sentence is cake or cookies or methamphetamine a big horkin’ orgy, but mom opted to be mysterious by refusing to say “cake”. Coffee and. Ugh.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Totally say this to my kids on the regular. But “makes me sad to the gas station and back” will be added to my vocabulary too. With proper citation, which will confuse my kids a lot.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You made me laugh again! You definitely need some chocolate. I usually do not let many things bother me, but those shirt tags on the back of your neck are irritating. I am not sure where the saying, Love you to the moon and back came from, but since I am from a different generation than you, it reminds me of the old Jackie Gleason show the honeymooners where he tells his wife Alice, ‘To the moon’. I loved all of the instructional pictures and if love traveled at the same rate of speed that light does and I see no reason why it would not, then since a trip to the moon and back only lasts three seconds, that is really not a whole lot of love. Have your chocolate and realize that this is just a hyperbole (exaggerated statement or claim which is not meant to be taken literally) and chill out, but please keep on writing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I had to go back and read what I was even bitching about in this post. I need an i.v. of chocolate. I can’t even remember why I’m mad. Thanks for reading my posts!!!


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