Humor

Yet another how not to gym blog: new life addition 

I went to the gym right after work. Maybe seeing the gym at peak busy time will make me appreciate when it's not that busy since it being completely dead is no longer an option. I just want to be able to relax when I get home. If I went straight home I would know I'd be coming back to the gym eventually and I'd never relax. 


I'm on the treadmill. A few things have happened since the last time I talked about being here. 1) It's not as busy as it normally is at this hour which is wonderful.  2) They got new lane divider thingys for the pool that look really nice, and 3) I'm wearing too tight of a shirt, not in the good way. So I guess you can't have everything the way you want it. 


That's what sucks about packing a gym bag. The tendency is to just grab and go. I never think about, "Oh this is a blue shirt. I can't wear that with green pants and a yellow and orange sports bra." It's the gym. I can look like Rainbow Brite if that's the way it works out. Who cares? I just grab the top shirt in the drawer, the top pair of pants in the drawer, the top couple sports bras and then cram them into my bag and voila! I'm ready to go, girl. Usually this works out no problem. But then there are those other times. 


This shirt I'm wearing may be okay to wear with looser pants, these pants may look okay with a bigger shirt but put them together and I look like a gym rat ho bag. Again, not in a good way. These clothes are way too form fitting. I'm not trying to tell you that I look sexy in my outfit. I'm saying I look like I'm trying to look sexy and failing miserably at it. I look like a can of cresent rolls that just popped open. 


But it's not like I can leave, is it? It's not a good enough reason to go home. I can't pack my shit back up and leave the gym because I'm too fat for my clothes. It's obviously more of a reason to stay. So here I am working out, looking like a cooked too long Johnsonville brat that's popped on the ends, doing a seemingly endless walk of shame on a treadmill. 

Is any one else hungry for some pigs in a blanket or is that just me?

I just realized that I forgot my Fitbit in my locker. Oh well, I'm not going to go get it. Normally I would but I have my favorite treadmill and I'm afraid it may not be here when I get back. So, oh well. Like I said, I've been really off for the past few weeks so if my Fitbit doesn't catch this workout, it won't be a bit surprised. 


My nose is running. I think it's allergies but honestly I hate allergy medication so much I would rather just sniffle. I wish I had brought a Kleenex with me…and my Fitbit. I also wish that every time I tried to type the letter "b" I didn't accidently hit the space bar instead. None of these things can be changed right now. I've just got to keep walking and writing, never getting anywhere in either endeavor. In so many ways I am the living, heavy breathing, embodiment of Einstein's definition of insanity. 

Anyway, I can't talk right now. I have to try and up my game here. Maybe even do some running? Nah. Wish me luck! 

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3 thoughts on “Yet another how not to gym blog: new life addition ”

  1. I really wish I had a treadmill right now. D: It’s getting too damn hot out to walk in the morning and the only difference between walking in the morning and walking in the evening is that in the evening at least you don’t have the sun beating down on you making you feel like you’re about to fry right there on the damn sidewalk.

    Like

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