Humor

I’ve Made Myself High Maintenance AF

I don’t know what to do with my hair now. It has always been oily. It has always been flat. Now it is dry. It poofs out. It's a whole different animal.

I knew when I went blonde that my hair would change texture. That's most of the reason I did it. My hair has always been fine and thin but the older I get the thinner it gets and I read that bleaching, though actually damaging to the hair, is sort of good for fine, thin hair because 1) the way it damages each strand of hair makes it appear thicker and 2) when you are pale like me there is less contrast between blonde hair and your scalp as opposed to my natural medium brown hair. This means it's not as easy to tell how thin my hair really is.

So I knew all of this going into my new life as a blonde but it's still really hard to wrap my mind around. Things that have always been true for me and my hair are now, no longer true. For example, I no longer need to wash my hair everyday to keep it from looking like I was literally dipped, head first, into a vat of oil. The fact that I really shouldn't wash my hair everyday is fucking with my head.

I didn’t wash my hair before work last Friday and I didn’t take a shower Saturday before I went out to the store and to the gym. I wouldn't say that I looked good either day but I didn’t look that bad. I didn't look greasy. I'm not saying I've never gone two days without washing my hair before but I am saying I certainly wouldn't have been able to leave the house that way.

I just need to learn how to extend my hair do with products and dry shampoo. I am working on it. I do technically know how to use these things. Like I said, they are just very new to me. I am learning.

I’ve learned that I need to spray coconut oil, or the like, on my hair now after I get out of the shower. That's so bizarre to me. Can you even believe that? Can you even believe that I am purposefully spraying oil onto my hair when my whole life I have been doing everything in my power to keep it from looking greasy?

I wish we had dry shampoo when I was in high school but honestly, before we bleached my hair, when I tried dry shampoo, it never really worked for me. I still looked like I needed to wash my hair. I used it like I was supposed to. I put it on my hair when it was still clean and I let it sit on my scalp before I brushed it through. Even still it didn’t really do that much for me. Now it seems to be working fine, which is a good thing. because I really shouldn’t wash my hair everyday anymore. So weird.

Now, I guess the thing I need to work on is perfecting the art of the two and three day hair style. I've been watching YouTube about it so it should all be fine soon. It's just that I can only practice so often, especially when I have to go two to three days between practices. I'll get there. I am definitely not there yet. I just sit with all my dry shampoos and volumizers and moisturizers and hair masks and blow dryers and curling irons and flat irons and all these little kits I bought to do things like wear my hair in pin curls and etc. I just sit in front of all of these things and go, "Now what?"

I probably need to do something with my bangs. It might be almost time for a new hair cut. I want to grow my hair out but I want to keep the ends neat. I have so much to learn.

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13 thoughts on “I’ve Made Myself High Maintenance AF”

  1. God..I haven’t thought about pin-curls in ages. Mostly because the last time I had to do them was so that a character wig would sit on my head without looking terribly lumpy and weird.

    I think if I were able to bleach/dye my hair (which I technically CAN, but there are limits on what color, etc because of work), it might behave itself and do something other than lay there and be flat. Because I’ve tried irons. I’ve tried hot rollers. I’ve tried sponge rollers. I’ve tried mousse and gel and hairspray from ‘barely hold’ to “this shit’s going on like a coat of heavy duty shellac’. Nothing will make my hair hold a style for more than about twenty, thirty minutes tops. Which is why for the last 20 years, the most I’ve ever done to my hair is throw it in a bun or french braid it. Because I’ve given up on my hair being anything but this flat mess that just kinda lays there no matter how much coaxing I attempt.

    I also don’t wash my hair but maybe every 3 days. I don’t use dry shampoo or anything…I just rinse it with warm water when I take a shower and let it dry. Seems to do OK. The first day after I wash it, it’s flat and won’t do a thing. But like the second and third day, it actually looks halfway OK..not greasy and retains somewhat of a shape if I brush it and use a wee bit of hairspray.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It’s just so weird. I’ve always had oily hair and I’m sure that’s partly because I did wash it everyday so that’s just what it was used to. I tried occasionally to wash it less often but I could never stick to it. Now I have to wash it less cause it’s already so dry. Although it is true what you said, the second or third day it does hold a curl easier. My hair was like you describe yours. I could do whatever I wanted to it but it would always go back to flat instantly. So I’m excited that I can do things to it now and they will stay. I’m just extremely overwhelmed. Lol.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I find that my hair is especially easy to deal with after I’ve been in the pool. I don’t wash the chemicals and junk out, I just rinse my hair and seem to get some extra..IDK..firmness? I think that’s the word I’m looking for. Firmness out of it.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. LOL Well, you can come sit by me. I’m not sure if I feel like a jerk or an asshole right now because apparently I’m annoying troll when I try to help people.

        Like

  2. I wash my hair every three days — and once every two weeks I use a shampoo with sulfates to get the bad crap out. But I also have obscenely thick curly hair. Like, Carrie Bradshaw 90’s Sex and the City curly hair.

    But caring for curly hair is way different than straight hair. And it is true, I’d rather have thin, straight hair than giant massive curly hair. And I’m sure people with thin straight hair wish they had my hair.

    The grass is greener….

    Liked by 1 person

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