"I don't care what anyone says, we should put more of a priority into murdering all of the birds." – Me.
I don't trust the birds. There is something they aren't telling us.
Plus they shit everywhere…from the sky and they won't shut up. So fuck birds, nature's mistake.
Mark my words, one day they will kill us all and everyone will be like, "Ouch! Oh, the birds! Oh my God! What the fuck? Ouch! Why am I being killed my birds?" and I'll be like, "Yeah, mother fucker, Ouch! I told you so but you just loved all the fucking canaries, Ouch! Didn't you?" and then we will both die at the wings of birds and the last thing that we both will be thinking will either be "Ouch" or "Damn" and then that's it. The birds will have taken over.
Have you ever really looked at a group of birds? It's unnerving. They just sit there. They are waiting for the perfect moment to take us down. They could strike at anytime. They have that group think. I find that to be absolutely terrifying.
I know that you've seen a bunch of birds flying in elaborate patterns through the sky. Fuck that. Fuck all of that. We are underestimating them. They are practicing and you don't want to know what for. And I don't know. I'll tell you what though, sister, it ain't good.
Alfred Hitchcock was on to something. Motel owners are creeps and birds are the real enemy.
But you don't have to take my word for it. (Then I proceed to show a bunch of quotes from children backing up my claim.) (You either get that reference or you don't. It's not my job to spoon feed you cultural references from the late 1980s.) (Though you'd swear that it was.)
In summation: Fuck birds, especially geese. Ducks you're okay. Parrots? No, fuck them, too.