Humor

The Best part of getting older

I will leave the house in just about anything with my hair looking any kind of way. Idgaf.

I think a part of this has to do with going to the gym. I've had workout clothes for years but prior to having a gym membership, I only worked out at home. I never wore them out of the house.
Sometimes I'll change into gym clothes before I leave the house or I won't feel like changing back into street clothes before I leave the gym. So if I need to go somewhere, I will just go in my gym clothes. And if I'll do that, what won't I do?

My workout attire could be anything from sweatpants to yoga pants to leggings on bottom, (I haven't worked up the nerve for shorts yet.) On top it's either a sweat wicking shirt, or a t-shirt and then, of course, the requisite two sports bras. Sometimes I look okay. The way I'm dressed is almost acceptable. Other times my pants don't match my shirt or my sports bras are showing and they don't match anything, including each other. Or my shirt is too short for how tight my pants fit. Occasionally I will even wear the gym outfit but then have on ballet flats or flip flops with it because I really don't like wearing my gym shoes outside. I go places dressed like this. Places where people can see me.

Before getting a membership to the gym I would never go anywhere without proper pants on. Now, who knows what the hell I will do? And I don't care either. Its not like I'm walking around Target concerned with my outfit of the day. I will go swimming, take a shower, put back on ill fitting gym clothes and just do my entire grocery haul for the week, zero fucks given. I don't give it a second thought. "Yes, I am wearing purple leggings and a too short red shirt. Now can I please have a half a pound of buffalo chicken breast and a crab cake." I'm a maniac.
I would never, could never have gone out like that 10 years ago. I didn't look good ten years ago but I had standards. I mean I didn't wear makeup or super nice clothes back then but I had certain rules I would follow before leaving the house:

  • Brush hair
  • Wear actual pants
  • Make sure your bra is not showing
  • Match your clothes to each other
  • Try not to look like a raccoon
  • Don't go outside with wet hair
  • Don't go outside with visible pit stains
  • Don't go to a store if you can't be 100% sure that you don't smell bad.

Ah, to be young! Think of all the time I wasted putting on shoes that went with my clothes. What a fool I have been.
You know what else? No one cares. Or at least I haven't noticed anyone caring. Then again I don't care if they care so does it really matter. I seriously don't look at other people when I'm out and about. It's entirely possible they are all looking at me and pointing, laughing, telling their kids, "See, that's why we have mirrors." Fuck 'em.

You want to come for me? Come on then. You want to wake a resting bitch? I bet you don't. You can tell from my pants that I do cardio. I can fight you for hours. I have so much, so much anger just waiting underneath my calm yet disheveled exterior. Give me a reason to go off on you. I've been waiting all day.

Okay. Now I've just lost my mind yelling at people judging me who may or may not even exist. The point is, I go to the store looking like shit now. Yay, adulting! Before it was pretty much the same bare face, dry hair, t-shirt and jeans. Now I either look like a fancy lady or like I just woke up from a nap in the tub.
You know, kids, the future is never what you expect it to be.

5 thoughts on “The Best part of getting older”

  1. Thanks for solving a problem for me. I was wondering what I was going to do the next few days. Now I know. I will be spending them trying to unsee three of those pictures!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. You make my day. It’s nice to have these mornings when someone else says it and not me – but I can’t do the photo thing, and that’s what I enjoyed most. Real people, unconcerned with ‘stuff’.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s