Look, I know a large part of my blog is being bitchy and hateful. I don’t want to be off brand but I feel like I should make a positive post about being grateful.
(Oh, that rhymed. I’m a poet. Or a schizophrenic.)
I was trying on the different lipsticks that I bought recently and I realized how lucky I am to have basically symmetrical lips. *Note: This post is not about my lips. Stick with me a minute here.* I mean, don’t put a ruler up to them or anything but to the naked eye they look more or less symmetrical. Such a shallow thought caused me to acknowledge the fact that I am so lucky in so many ways.
Yes, the lip thing is nice. Good for me. Yay! What is even more amazing is that I have two eyes that can see (with the help of glasses or contacts but…), I can smell, I can taste. I can hear. I can think (on occasion).
This may not always be the case but for now all these things are so and I am so, so lucky.
It’s easy to point out that my teeth are not perfect. I never had braces. I have a gap in between my front teeth. That’s always the first thing my eye goes to when I look at my face. It’s easy to focus on that fucking gap or the millions of other things wrong with my face. It’s easy to wish that I didn’t have rosecea, with an ever increasing amount of red lines visible on my cheeks. It’s easy to notice the worry lines across my forehead, which my recently acquired obsession with skin care is improving but not completely fixing. It’s easy to notice that my jawline isn’t as tight as I would like or that my body isn’t as thin and/or shapely as I want it to be. It’s easy to notice all those things. It’s hard not to.
But that’s not what I’m here to talk about today. If you would like to read about all the things I hate about myself, might I refer you to literally any other post on this blog? Today I am trying to have an elevated point of view. I’m trying to rise above my usual self hatred. It’s taking all my effort not to complain right now. Don’t get used to it.
How lucky I am to have eyes that can see all of these imperfections. How fortunate I am to have two hands and ten fingers with which to type these words. How blessed am I to have a brain that can understand all the things that are wrong with me and wrong with you and wrong with society as a whole. How wonderful is it that I don’t have to be negative all the time, only most of the time.
It’s better than finding Marc Jacobs products at Marshall’s for less than $20, when you think about it. Yet that makes me so happy. It should make me just as happy, possibly even more so, that I can breathe, in and out, all day without even thinking about it.
Today I will try to appreciate the fact that I can walk, that I can stand up straight, that I can think deeply about things, (Even though that usually doesn’t end well.) All this and the fact that my brows pretty much shape themselves! So many blessings for one dumb bitch.
There is so much to take for granted and I usually do. It’s so easy to focus on what’s wrong. To me being negative is so much more hilarious than being positive but sometimes you’ve got to switch it up. I’ve been writing this for 30-45 minutes. That’s probably long enough, right?
once again, I know this is off brand but I truly am so lucky. I need to remember that. I’m sure many of you are even luckier than I am. I hope this reminds you to appreciate all the good things in your life. Please join me tomorrow, or possibly later today, for our regularly scheduled programming in which I will rant about trivial things for a seemingly endless number of words.