Humor

I Would Rather be High

I don’t like to talk about anything that fits under the heading of political on here. I don’t mind saying controversial things but when it comes to politics, I am deliberately undereducated because it just stresses me out and makes me angry. This isn’t really about politics but it could be if someone wanted to go there.

Instead what this is, is a blog post that I drunkenly spoke into my phone awhile back. I didn’t know if I would ever post it but today’s daily prompt, leaf, made me think of it and it’s Friday. It’s been a long week and I’m out of ideas. So now, for your amusement only, I present my drunken marijuana rant. Please enjoy:

While we are not at all on the subject, I would just like to say that weed should be legal. It’s bullshit that’s it’s not. It’s big pharma trying to kill us, trying to make us fat and self destructive. I don’t say this because I’m high. (TSA, I’m talking to you.) I say this cause I’m fucking drunk and its messed up and I can’t go to the gym or the mall or anywhere else because I am drunk. If I had a choice, I would be high and that is much better for me both physically and mentally.

If I were high, I’d just go to the fucking gym and space out while walking on the treadmill and be a thinner and healthier and happier and more productive version of myself but instead I’ll just sit here, drunk as a skunk because I’m drunk as a fucking skunk and I can’t do anything but stay home and bitch on the internet.

I would rather be at the gym, floating in the miracle pool or sitting in the whirlpool stoned and fucking blissed out. I would rather be in a fitting room with way too many items to try on while I listen to podcasts in my headphones and zone out completely. I would rather be at some sort of meetup or speak easy with a bunch of other high people, solving all the problems in the world. That’s illegal, though. This is not.

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10 thoughts on “I Would Rather be High”

  1. 100% agree. They are slowly legalizing it in the USA (State to state, different regulations etc) and Canada when I left was talking about the regulations and is hope to one day soon become legal. (British Columbia it is sure not on a bill legal, but everyone smokes it and the cops don’t really give two shits. However you can get charged with dealing, if they suspect it you are in shit. But lighting a joint in front of wal mart or a grocery store etc is no reason to take someone in. or it’s too much work?) I need to move back to BC, I swear one day I will. But how long does it fucking take to legalize it? They have been talking about it for like what a couple years now? Probably more. The WTF for me is not why is alcohol legal and not weed. The big WTF for me is why the fuck is cigarettes still legal and not weed? Cigarettes is a known fact one of the most addictive things (Second most addictive drug next to Street Heroin being number one) and it is a well known fact they kill you and not just some nice quick death, normally slowly, antagonizing and painfully. My guess is prisons and cops still employ a fuck load of people like the military, and we need to keep these people for smoking a natural plant and selling it in jail.

    On the bright side, I would rather see it be decriminilized over it being legal. I am not that excited about weed becoming legal because it becomes govern controlled and I don’t trust the government worth a damn. People are still going to be put behind bars for selling it. So I am on the fence with the hype of it becoming legal.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I learned a couple years ago that in Jamaica, it’s totally kosher to walk around with up to 2 oz as long as you don’t have any sort of police record. If you’re clean, then you’re good to go. The cops don’t give a shit if you’re walking around smoking a blunt or not. As long as you’re not hardcore dealing a LOT, they’ll even turn a blind eye to small time dealing. Or at least that’s what our tour guide told us.

      Liked by 2 people

    2. That’s a good point. Decriminalization would be better. With all the things that are legal and can kill you, you have to wonder what motivates “them” to keep some illegal that actually helps people. Keep ’em sick. Keep ’em scared.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I really wish they’d hurry up and legalize it where I live (Texas) because I’ve always felt it was never as dangerous as they would lead people to believe. Also, pot is good for anxiety and depression, both of which I have. I’ve also heard that it’s good for ADHD and autism, which my son has.

    Liked by 1 person

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