It’s Halloween, that special day that comes once a year when I turn off all the lights and hide in my basement lest those kiddies come and try to take my candy.
I’ve never been one for Halloween. I have a friend who is really into it and has asked me to dress up with her on occasion. Ive been the Patsy to her Edina twice and the blonde girl from Abba to her brunette girl from Abba. I’m really surprised that we’ve never been Romy and Michelle. She already said that she’d prefer to be the Rhoda. I guess we could never figure out whether Romy or Michelle was the Mary.
Ultimately when it comes down to it, there is no one I would rather be than me. I mean, when you get to be me 364 days a year why would you ever want to be anyone else on that 365th day? I have no idea.
No, I’m not.
If I could create a costume so that everyone else could be me for a while, I think it would be a (obviously) bleached blonde wig that is never styled correctly, blue glasses, carrying a huge bag of makeup and yet not wearing any, with a big sign to go around the neck that says, “Leave me alone. Wait a minute, where are you going? Come talk to me I’m so lonely. No, leave me alone.”
No one would buy it.