No, You’re the one that’s Aging

I'm in denial about a lot of things but the two major things that I'm in denial about are my age and my weight. Every morning I wake up and ask myself, "what is wrong with this mirror?" I see my friends after a long time and I think, "God, they are so old." I…

Can you see my age in this?

I recently went on a bit of a shopping spree. After possibly over a year of hating Macy's, momma came home and was rewarded with a treasure trove of fashion. I bought so so many things that I absolutely love, could-not-possibly-live -without, so-cute-I-can't-even-stand-it clothes. Some of it was summer clearance, some was fall basics, and…

How did you get so old, so soon?

I was just thinking abut this the other day. I was trying to explain to an imaginary person how I looked so great for my age, today (I don't know, I don't know. (that's for all of you die hard abfab fans.)) https://youtu.be/k21voG2lkJU Don't act like I'm the only one who does it either. We've…

A Penchant for Aging Disgracefully

I have a real penchant for going overboard with things. (That's going Ham for my fellow millennials.) I don't always give a shit about something but when I do. I give at least two shits. It should come as no surprise to regular readers that my obsession du jour is makeup and skin care and…

Dr. Brandt’s Magnetight Age-Defier

Has anyone heard of this thing? Better yet, has anyone used one? Regular visitors of this blog know that I have only recently started caring about my skin and hair. Never one to half-ass something, I have made it my business to learn about all things beauty. Actually that's not true. I half-ass almost everything…

My neck, my back,…

The way I talk about myself on here you guys probably think I'm some sort of disgusting swamp monster. I guess I should put a picture up to dissuade you of this. Here is one I took of myself yesterday:See, I look fine. I'm really mastering my everyday eye look. Don't you think? Look at…

“Too Weird to Live, Too Rare to Die”

Young smokers (if there is even such a thing anymore) are like, "Well, I don't have wrinkles." Of course you don't, you little idiot. You're 22 years old. Get back to me when you're 37 and your mouth looks like the Kylie Jenner Lip Challenge fucked your shit up for good. The next thing you…