There was only like a two year window between when I started dated and when I started dating my husband. I have three, I guess you would call them, exes. I know for a fact I could contact any one of them today, 15+ years later and they would be happy to talk to me.… Continue reading Serious Saturday: Because Sometimes I Can’t Make Things Funny
My friend Jennifer told me I was a good dancer but she was a bad friend and a lying ass ho. I can't dance. I'm actually a horrible dancer. I like to dance and to this day you can find me in my basement with my headphones in just going off to some sick ass… Continue reading Undulate, Undulate, Arriba, Arriba!!!!
I faint. I have since high school. I remember the first time that it happened. I was at my after school job at Radio Shack, standing in the back room. I took a big swig from my 20 oz Coke and it's like it got caught in my throat. It was too much at once… Continue reading Views from the Floor, Alt Title: I’ve Fallen and I will be up in a Minute, Just Relax.
"And when Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to Conquer" ~ Han's Gruber, Die Hard (1988) That's the way I feel when I look at my makeup collection. I went to Ulta today. I was there for easily an hour. I bought nothing. I picked up… Continue reading More Deep Thoughts on Shallow Subjects.
I recently went on a bit of a shopping spree. After possibly over a year of hating Macy's, momma came home and was rewarded with a treasure trove of fashion. I bought so so many things that I absolutely love, could-not-possibly-live -without, so-cute-I-can't-even-stand-it clothes. Some of it was summer clearance, some was fall basics, and… Continue reading Can you see my age in this?
I don't like to talk about anything that fits under the heading of political on here. I don't mind saying controversial things but when it comes to politics, I am deliberately undereducated because it just stresses me out and makes me angry. This isn't really about politics but it could be if someone wanted to… Continue reading I Would Rather be High
I just had an impromptu shopping haul. I've been doing that more and more often. I think I'm losing my mind. It just makes me happy. I wish I had something else to make me happy but I don't right now. I'm in a fight with my best friend and he probably doesn't know that.… Continue reading Feeling the Sting of a Gay-ke up
I have a real penchant for going overboard with things. (That's going Ham for my fellow millennials.) I don't always give a shit about something but when I do. I give at least two shits. It should come as no surprise to regular readers that my obsession du jour is makeup and skin care and… Continue reading A Penchant for Aging Disgracefully
Look, I know a large part of my blog is being bitchy and hateful. I don't want to be off brand but I feel like I should make a positive post about being grateful. (Oh, that rhymed. I'm a poet. Or a schizophrenic.) I was trying on the different lipsticks that I bought recently and… Continue reading Being Grateful (Seriously. I’m not Kidding.)
I work often drive past a place called "Kiddi Kollege". It bothers me. Every time I see it, I cringe. Kiddi Kollege is a day care, obviously. It's not an institution of higher learning. I understand alliteration, I really do. It helps sometimes to make a thing sound catchier that it actually is. This isn't… Continue reading Spelling Matters