Humor

Why do men love bitches?

Because we fucking told them to. That’s why. 


Maybe instead of whining about life’s mysteries you should learn to assert yourself. Go up to the man you want, slap him in the face, and tell him that he loves you. It might not work but I can pretty much guarantee that he’s not going to hate it…unless you’re real jacked-up looking in the face. 

Although, now that I’m thinking about it, that might not work. A real bitch wouldn’t even notice the man in the first place. I think that’s the real reason men love bitches. We don’t care if they love us or not. We love ourselves. And you can’t fake that shit either. You can’t like a guy and then pretend to ignore him but secretly know his every move. 

No. That won’t work. 

If you find yourself thinking about him, ask yourself “Him who?” and then don’t answer yourself.  You couldn’t care less. Men love that. Or at least I think they do. I’ve honestly never noticed. 


I have no idea what I’m talking about. That should be clear at this point. Men probably just love bitches because their moms and sisters are bitches.  I don’t know. My husband loves me because our therapist said it would help our marriage. 

Side note: when I was looking for images for this post I typed in “men love b” and google auto filled to read “men love breastfeeding.” So I don’t know anything about men. I guess there is a book on the subject. You should just read that. 

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9 thoughts on “Why do men love bitches?”

  1. Omg, I immediately thought of one of my favorite scenes from The Slammin’ Salmon. Not able to insert the gif so I’ll just leave a link to it.

    As for men loving bitches, it’s probably about the same reason why women love assholes. The reason why for both? No fucking clue, lol. When you find out, lemme know.

    Liked by 1 person

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