Humor

My lips are covered

Of all the makeup I've never worn, I've never worn lipstick the most. I don't know why. It just never seemed necessary. I guess I prefer a nude lip and the easiest way to achieve that is by keeping your lips nude. Or so I thought.

Now that I am going ham on makeup, I guess I should actually put lipstick on to make my lips the color that they pretty much already are. Lipstick (and when I say lipstick I mean lipstick, lip gloss, lip tint, chapstick etc.) was the absolute last thing that I bought after approximately one million eye shadow palettes I also don't use, (I just like to look at them.) foundation, primer, blush, skin care, fragrance, whatever. That's how little I care about lipstick. I actually bought skin care for my lips before it even occurred to me to buy the actual lipstick.

Ironically, (what does that word even mean. I always think about that scene in Reality Bites when Winona Rider is asked to define irony and she can't. I can't either. All I know is that nothing in that Alanis Morissette song is actually ironic. I also know I hate Alanis Morisette, always have, always will although it hardly ever comes up anymore and I'm glad cause I hate her.
I base this opinion on the fact that when she won best new artist at the MTV awards in 199-who-fucking-remembers, she made a speech about how stupid it is to judge art and assign a winner, which by the way I don't disagree with. The fact is though, (and correct me if I'm wrong) to my understanding when an artist is nominated for an award, any award, they have to accept the nomination. If she really thought it was bullshit then she shouldn't have accepted it because whatever year it that this occurred Jewel was also up for the award and she lost to Alanis and I'm sure that Jewel would have appreciated it. Not that I'm a huge Jewel fan, I'm not. Still fuck Alanis Morisette.)
Wow! Talk about holding a grudge, huh? Who even thinks about any of these people. I sure as hell don't. Most of you probably don't even know who I'm talking about. Lucky you.

What the hell was I talking about? Oh yeah. Something was ironic, unless I'm using the word wrong.
Ironically, I probably needed lipstick more than any other form of makeup because I bite my lips and they are always severely chapped, even in summer. So I bought a bunch of lip product. Good for me. It was probably the hardest thing I had to do because I was so utterly clueless. I don't know what lipstick looks good on me. My guess would be none of it. It doesn't help that I don't like the gap in my two front teeth and I don't really want to attract any attention to it. What mouth?

It's always so jarring to try on lipstick. It's like the first time you drew on your eyebrows and you felt like you looked crazy but no one else could tell that you even did anything. Actually, the first time you drew your eyebrows on you probably did look crazy. But they are so cute now, huh? We all have to start somewhere.
So the pictures in this blog post are going to be the makeup products that I've purchased. They are stock photos. Those aren't my lips. If you would like a review of these products let me know. I am chock full of opinions.

This is a lip treatment. It is bomb ass.

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